January 19th, part 3

On january 19th 2013, after exactly 21 years in Osho’s garden, I left Pune for the very last time.

The last few months had been tough. A separation had left me so totally heartbroken and devastated that after a couple of months alone in the Himalayas crying my guts out and touching depths of despair I didn’t know existed, I had come back to Pune to look for support.

I had been through all the therapies imaginable for so many years, many of them very intense and life changing. But one process I had strangely always left out, and suddenly while in the mountains the pull had come. And so I booked “The path of Love”.

I arrived in Pune a week before the start of the group. I was so raw in my heart, had hardly slept in weeks and was on an edge that both scared and excited me at the same time. I knew I had no choice but keep moving in those new places inside where my feet would not touch the ground anymore and where all I knew made less and less sense.

If, as I always felt, doing the right group means doing the right group at the right time, then certainly I was ready and ripe like a mango falling from the tree at the sound of the breeze coming.

“The Path of Love” is a fascinating process and in my experience one that has really the potential to transform someone’s life and create life changing breakthroughs. At least it was so for me. As I came out, I had the choice to let what had just happened integrate -and I was aware that it could well take years- or almost immediately jump into “Men and Women on the Path of Love”, an advanced group for people who have already done the process. I jumped in.

What happened in there is hard to describe. It certainly happened by grace only and could have happened anywhere, anytime, and most likely it could have never happened at all. Why it happened in there is pure coincidence.  I have had quite a few Satori and spiritual experiences along my journey; they all enriched my life in some way, and all were part of the unfolding of consciousness. What happened in there is radically different. Something broke. Vanished forever.

I felt completely reborn, yet not complete. Integrating what had happened would take time and in many ways rewiring is still happening to this day.

A few days later, on January 19th, exactly 21 years after I first entered Osho’s Ashram, I walked in. I had an entry sticker valid for one more week and had paid my room till the end of the month. Osho’s didn’t entertain a carnival any more, a resort had replaced the ashram, and the place had changed dramatically over the years. But what really struck me as I walked around, is the transformation that this body mind organism called Nirav had gone through. What a journey it had been!

I was on my way to the auditorium to sit in a meditation; but instead I watched my body slowly walk out, take the back gate street, enter the travel agency, book a bus ticket to Goa for that very same evening, go to the room, pack all the luggage and make it to the station.

The next morning I arrived in Goa.

(part 4 …)


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