Still around after all these years

 

For 21 years the Osho commune in Pune was my home. There I took Sannyas, and day after day I listened to Him, did His meditations, participated in all possible groups and trainings, worked, gave sessions, and I also managed to find plenty of time to be constantly involved in the juiciest and most dramatic intimate relationships. Those were beautiful years of a richness hard to describe. I feel that I absorbed the full rainbow of His vision, lived to the fullest a life of meditation and celebration, and squeezed the juice out of everything to an extend I would never have dreamed possible.

I have been a spiritual seeker for as long as I can remember, sometimes not knowing what I was after, sometimes groping in the dark, often confused about what my real longing was. When Osho appeared in my life everything suddenly made sense; with him my heart opened and every word he spoke hit the spot. With Him I could explore the depths of my darkness, watch my love and creativity catch fire and take me to heights I didn’t know existed. With him I felt whole again.

When I look at my life today, I see that nothing has changed about my connection with Osho. I feel that His vision and His very breath got absorbed within and that somehow He has become part of me. My circle of friends is largely of Sannyasins, but in some strange ways I also feel a connectedness with the Osho Community as a whole, even with those who seem to create walls. A few years ago, after I had reposted on Facebook an article about the fake Osho will that I found interesting, I was banned from entering His garden in Pune, my home for so many years. Regardless of the incredible hurt that this incident created I always felt that this unfolding was part of my life with Osho; beyond what appears to be right and what appears to be wrong there is an open space where I always find Osho giggling at the absurdity of the human condition. No matter how hurt and angry I can be, I always feel Osho ‘s presence near me; and even when a door closes I know that He is about to open a bigger one for me to keep growing.

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